Lost
While on the outside others might think that I’m doing pretty well for myself, inside I feel like I can’t do anything right and will never be good enough. I was finally able to get a pretty cool job, and I know there are a lot of people my age who can’t find a job at all, let alone one they actually like, but I constantly worry that I am going to mess up and lose everything. Like if I say the wrong thing to my boss I will be fired and then my girlfriend will break up with me and I will have to move back in with my parents in the Midwest and rely on them more than I already do. I have always had to work a little harder than other people to keep up, or at least that is what it felt like having ADHD growing up, and I have a tendency to worry that people will know that I am not good enough. At least in high school and college you kind of know what the rules are – you know what you need to do to pass a class, and how you should act or look like to have friends, but after college it seemed like all the rules sort of changed. My girlfriend is still in school so she’s got that all figured out, but finding a job was like trying to figure out a puzzle or a maze without any manual or instructions.